“So if it’s that cold why didn’t you just wear jeans?”

“I have a hard time wearing pants.”

“Excuse me?”

“They have to hit at exactly the right spot, right above the middle of my ankle, because I hate the feeling of pant material puddling around my shoes, and also I like the way exposed ankles look, especially on people who are short as I am, but it’s too cold to go sockless and obviously wearing socks with ankle-length pants is out of the question, so I just don’t wear them because I can’t figure out what to do.”

“Have you ever considered seeing a therapist?”