July 2011
I respect the fact that my phone tried to replace ‘fuckface’ with ‘Duchesse’.
June 2011
The carriage of a young lady must, at all times, be respectful without meanness, easy without familiarity, genteel without affectation, and insinuating without design. Finally, they were asked not to speak of themselves, for nothing could ever be said to varnish one’s defects nor add lustre to one’s virtues, whereas, on the contrary, it would only make the former more visible and the...
PHILLY PHANATIC PILLOW PET.
Daytime baseball and bathing suits.
2 tags
1 tag
The most important thing to do, if you see a celebrity at a bar, is to not make eye contact but to get within smelling distance.
For research purposes.
“It was just this ____ coming at me.”
“And then?”
“Fade to black.”
1 tag
“Why can’t all men be like Cliff Lee?”
Googling the author of the book you’re reading to find personal information/old interviews and learning (even though you already suspected, based on the name and a hazy recollection of literary family trees), in the third result, that he’s the uncle of the dude currently dating Jennifer Aniston.
3 tags
I had an uncle who expounded the virtue of drink. He put away a pint of whiskey per day for many years. He said he was preserving himself from the inside out. Pickled maybe, but preserved? My Granny preserved crabapples for years, trying to pass them off as jelly. Which makes the point that just because you can preserve something doesn’t always mean you should. But what exactly is...
1 tag
Scribbled on the bedside notepad this morning:
Eichler
Ranch house not in California
Dovecote???
1 tag
Last night I needed a coaster and Dadbro was like, ‘here, just use this Bon Iver CD someone burned me’.
Sometimes (before I’ve finished my first cup of coffee SHUT UP) in the morning I start responding to emails, but lacking the wherewithal to scroll down and open the appropriate conversation I just click whatever’s at the top of my Inbox and minutes later receive confused responses from people who point out that I ‘probably meant to send that to someone else’.
1 tag
The book he was working on—a grimoire, in the old style—recapitulated such communication. He scribbled away in the light of his gooseneck lamp that not only left the rest of the room in darkness but at such times rendered insignificant any matters of consequence beyond that. There was a private quality about him as he worked: a wizard in conical hat conjuring mastertricks; the...
1 tag
“Don’t do anything illicit for money.”
“Illicit, or illegal?”
“Either.”
1 tag
I’m pretty sure the announcer on MLB network referred to Jacoby Ellsbury’s tap to first base as ‘sending his seed straight into the glove’.
Every time I wake up from a nap I feel ______.
1 tag
2 tags
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
1 tag
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
1 tag
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
1 tag
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
1 tag
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
Am I going to do anything in grad school besides fill out forms?
1 tag
“Sounds a lot like me.”
“Indeed. You’d hate each other!”
”.”
“Because you hate yourself!”
“Yeah, I got that, asshole.”
One time I went to a party and said to a mutual friend, “hey, where is [party co-host]’s boyfriend?”, and she replied, “he had a 50 percent-off admission coupon to the Spearmint Rhino near LAX, and today was the last day he could use it.”
2 tags
I ordered a skirt printed with sailboats and lighthouses and then I saw it on a fashion blogger (‘fashion blogger’) who’d titled her post ‘To The Lighthouse’.
It was about how excited she was to wear it on a Cape Cod vacation.
1 tag
”______________”
”.”
“This sounds like shitty dad music.”
-Dadbro, on Bon Iver
2 tags
It’s been a really long time since a cultural preservationist with an Americanist focus has won a Genius Grant.
1 tag
Swamplandia! was a waste of time, even though I am very interested in alligators and C-list tourist attractions.
1 tag
Two detective novels, 17,000 Pimm’s Cups, one bang trim, uncountable minutes spent staring at nothing.
simone-eastman:
Is divorce-blogging better than emotive ex-texting?
Yes.
My favorite color is the pink-ish shade that happens when you pour bleach and detergent into the washing machine at the same time.
1 tag
“Would you bang a Mets player if he was really hot?
BRAINTEASER.”
Sometimes I read bullshit articles in history journals and think things like ‘what pedestrian primary source analysis’ and ‘how did he get tenure!?’ and then I wish I’d gone into biology instead, so that my love for, say, 1890s material culture could’ve remained pure.
1 tag
I’m sorry that this has become a Tumblr about books and graduate school (and also swimming), but did you know that having a .edu email address means unlimited two-day shipping FOR FREE at Amazon?
