May 2011
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“I don’t care what they say. I’m in California and there’s nothing they can do about that.”
-Girl who just spent an hour arguing about her post-college plans with her mother on the phone, to the boyfriend her mother hates.
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More specifically:
The couple next to me (graduate students, from what I can tell—lady is vaguely science-y, bro projecting MBA vibes) is freaking out about missing a concert in New York tonight and I’m dying to lean over and ask what they’ve got tickets for.
Knowing the band name will help me determine the validity of their feelings for each other.
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Is it fucked up that I love watching couples fight at the airport?
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People who don’t turn off the iPhone ‘keyboard click’ sounds.
‘Small maintenance issue’
My style of decorating (in my mind/dreams) is ‘Colonial and Constitutional period Philadelphia woodwork, with everything else being vaguely ascetic’ (this also makes sense in my mind/dreams), so looking at things like backyard furniture and couches with Dadbro makes me anxious.
How do you guys spell ‘chiffarobe’? I spell it just like that, but Wikipedia (and Simone Eastman) spell it ‘chifforobe’, and apparently there are renegades among us who are so bold (and wrong, truthfully) as to go with ‘chifferobe’.
Well?
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Paying a Russian lady to gently rub Amazonian mud and flowery creams all over your face and neck while a pan-pipe version of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ plays out of speakers designed to look like rocks.
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“OK, what’s the situation?”
“Dude, doctors at this hospital are so hot.”
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“She always seemed clean; in fact she seemed abnormally healthy. A hippie who would say things like “none of your beeswax”, or commenting on food, “this is really mellow chili”. A hippie who would bring her own chopsticks to every meal.
A hippie who had a cat named Tahini.”
Bret Easton Ellis, The Rules of Attraction
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Angela: i mean, you go to a lot of therapy. can you explain ___________?
– file under: daily conversation. (via simone-eastman)
When Dadbro invites the new neighbors and their small children over for a chat in the driveway, as I’m trying to back out of the driveway.
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Programming Note
A week from today, I’ll be in New York, where I’ll stay for two and a half-ish weeks, looking for a place to live and taking advantage of the museum discounts afforded by my new .edu status.
Quick! What is the best thing to substitute for a coffee filter if you are, as I am, out of coffee filters!?
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I sometimes like to engage the nebulous boundary between the public and private spheres by pacing around the produce section of Gelson’s while talking on the phone to Simone about my problems (‘problems’).
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“I guess it wouldn’t kill me to pretend to care.”
“What about actually caring?”
“That would definitely kill me.”
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I think it’s time to be in between these lines.
– Chase (via philadelphiaphillies)
At least once a week I think to myself, “electric light, ugh”, and then I wake up with “kerosene lamps?? viable???” scribbled on my bedside notepad.
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Lil Wayne’s verse on the Chris Brown single, the sexual appeal of James Gandolfini, Dogville.
Being deliberately unpleasant so that people will stop insisting you leave the house.
When I was in 5th grade, my friend Erin asked me to keep her company during her younger sister’s birthday slumber party.
We spent most of the night watching usually-forbidden episodes of Melrose Place in the guest bedroom, but at some point we got the bright idea to hide in the sleeping bags of the younger girls and then jump out and scare them.
When Erin jumped out of the Sanrio frog bag...
My backup plan is to marry a professional athlete.
– (via lifeaquatic)
Wait, I thought this was our Plan A?
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I don’t have much interest in the Rapture, but last night three separate people said things like, “hey! If you’re signed up for one of those post-Rapture pet rescue services, maybe if it happens you’ll get a bunch of Corgis!”
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“Wow, you’re a lucky lady. They don’t make sunglasses like that anymore!”
“Thanks.”
“I mean, fuck them, right?”
“Yep.”
“I need to get out of LA. Everyone says the food tastes better in New York, anyway.”
”.”