November 2011
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Someone drew a penis on the chalkboard.
The thing about Christmas music is that in elementary school I was the lead soloist in the glee club and every year we sang at the mall, which was fine, but also at a Jewish nursing home, and I hated my red Christmas dress but I loved the blue and gold dress (I know) I wore to sing Hanukkah songs, so.
Old Time Family Baseball: VH1 Finally Gives the... →
oldtimefamilybaseball:
Are you the type of person who watches a ballgame and thinks, “You know what would make this better? If I could hear Anna Benson’s thoughts on a variety of topics,” or, while browsing the box scores from the night before find yourself wishing “for more yelling”? Well, then VH1 has got a surprise…
Molly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Some women breastfeed and watch the pounds fall faster than Loutallica’s cred, while others, such as myself, seem to have decided that it’s time to hibernate for the winter of my life.
Also one time a dude sent me a letter in which he encouraged me to find ways to become a useful woman.
Still wondering about that one, especially when I get confused about which nails get hammered into the wall and which ones can be drilled.
Thinking about the time Don Draper told his secretary/love interest to write her own letter of recommendation.
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Doing research on university clubs is a lot easier if you use the search terms ‘university club’ or ‘college clubs’ instead of forgetting how the Internet works and Googling ‘gentlemen’s club New York 1890s’.
“But you remember something? Can you recite something to give me an idea?”
“No, I only remember feelings.”
“What kind of feelings? Tell me one.”
“Despair…”
“Nothing else? That’s all?”
“Despair, heights, the sea, things that aren’t closed, things that are partway open, like something bursting in the...
The worst thing about having seen every episode of Sex and the City (except for, you know, HAVING SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF SEX AND THE CITY) is not being able to watch any other show on television without eventually thinking, ‘oh, that District Attorney is the guy Miranda met at the gym who was into spanking!’ or whatever.
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We need to talk about Horlicks.
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heylabodega asked: Today I saw a Corgi on the street, and thought of a stranger on the internet. It was a very 21st century moment.
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But, couldn’t they have gotten someone better/more relevant than Nicole Krauss to blurb The Third Reich?
There’s a Stephen King short story about guys at a fictionalized state school in New England who get really into the card game Hearts, so much so that they all start neglecting their schoolwork and losing their scholarships and getting shipped off to Vietnam. The narrator pulls it together at the last minute because of a girl who has sex with him at a drive-in movie theatre.
I’ve been...
Would you watch a TV show in which I travelled the world for the purpose of exploring drugstores of other countries?
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“She gave me extra Madeleines.”
“What’s a Madeleine?”
“Cookie, looks like a shell? Proust wrote about them?”
“Oh, have you read Proust?”
“No.”
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A big thing here is a 14 year old girl with braces doing a cover of a Bon Iver song?
My sister is watching a show about a boy band being mentored by Simon Cowell and singing Natalie Imbruglia songs.
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“These pajamas are thirty pounds, or two for twenty-five pounds.”
“Oh, so if I buy two pairs they’re twenty-five pounds each?”
“No, twenty-five pounds total.”
“So it’s two pairs for the price of one plus an extra five pounds off, or one pair at full price?”
“Yep!”
“OK.”
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I just bought a hideous pair of pink airplane socks.
For twenty-five dollars.
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Last night someone asked me what kind of dog I’d get if I were to get a dog and it was weird to realize that maybe not everyone knows, but then I said so and he was like, ‘just fucking with you, I obviously know.’
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Long-haired dude reading Joan Didion and sitting on the only staircase that goes to the nice women’s bathroom in Fayerweather.
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“You know the Fiona Apple ‘Criminal’ video?”
“Yeah?”
“It was like that. But it was an office.”
Many years later, when he had become famous—extremely famous, if the truth be told—Jed would be asked numerous times what it meant, in his eyes, to be an artist. He would find nothing very interesting or original to say, except one thing, which he would consequently repeat in each interview: to be an artist, in his view, was above all to be someone submissive. Someone who submitted...
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Lest you think this is just a blog about compliments people give me, Friday night I was at a party and some girl cornered me in the bathroom to ask if I was wearing Ferragamo Vara flats because Joan Didion wears Ferragamo Vara flats.
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“Excuse me?”
“Yes?”
“I just think you should know that you have such beautiful ankles. So delicate!”
“Thank you?”
